Shattered Dreams
by jjrw1998
Summary: A little look in a one sided Clyrnin. contains sadness, and suicide. RxR :


_**This is based on Adele's Someone like you, so please go on your media player and listen, or if you don't have this amazing song go on youtube or grooveshark **___

_**Yes, I know I hate the shaneXclaire pairing, but this is more a one-sided clyrnin **___

_**Enjoy!**_

MPOV:

It was cold, or I suppose it was cold, but I couldn't feel it, it was nothing compared to the cave of ice where my heart should have been beating. My heart hasn't beat for centuries. If only things were different.

The lab was, as always, dimly lit, a lingering habit of when Claire had once been allowed to visit me, and I had turned the lights on so she could help me, and see. I wandered over to the table, a thick layer of dust covering each object; I hadn't touched them since she came to see me, her silver ring on her finger, a diamond studding it. It was tacky and I couldn't believe she had finally accepted him, it would change everything. It wasn't flamboyant; he hadn't had it since it had once graced the finger of a queen, not like I had. I was waiting, waiting for her to see, that she was mine, and I was hers. It hadn't happened and the small box was still in my coat pocket, a visible cube bulge, showing the world what I had wanted, what I still wanted.

It would never happen.

Walling lightly around the room I fiddled idly with a book before tossing it aside, it had been years, the lab still smelled faintly of her, in some of it's crevices, in the books, a chair I had put in another room, just so I could smell her. I could still feel her presence.

Taking a deep breath I once again returned to the mirror of which I still haunted, out of vain habit again, hoping she would visit, of course she never had. She'd been with his child as soon as possible, she hadn't visited me before the hastily conceived marriage ceremony, I'd gone. She'd look beautiful, happy. Radiant.

Like the sun, the moon and stars. She was beautiful. She wasn't mine, and that had stung, hurt. I hadn't changed my clothes since. I still had confetti in my pocket. A pewter spoon in my pocket, the lingering aroma of the roses she'd carried in her bouquet. The lingering memory of her.

My hair was matted, my clothing slightly torn, and stained. But, I didn't smell, I was ice, not human. Not that boy. Of course he was a man now, physically older then I, as was she. But, I'd heard she'd done great things, without me. Had children, worked for Amelie, Oliver, every other vampire, but me. She hadn't even popped in to see how Bob was. Poor Bob.

I rushed over to his cage, which was now his last resting place, I observed. His skeleton seeming oddly morbidly amusing to me. I laughed slightly, before walking away, to the huge vat of blood I had stored. The disease wasn't back, but it might as well be. Without her I was nothing.

Nothing.

I had to see her. It was a sudden compulsion, as if my brain had just whispered a command and I blindly followed it.

I only just remembered to pull on a thick leather jacket, I think it was still morning, or noon perhaps.

The Sun blinded me, making me flinch slightly as I smelt her out, I would always be able to, I had marked her, when I drank from her. She would be mine, or she should have been. Had that boy not proposed, I felt a slice of pain slice through me.

She was stood there, underneath a street light, despite the bright noon sun, smiling as she talked to her little girl, a small lap dog pulling on its lead. She looked like him. The raw pain pulsed through me, I would never have children, I had always wanted them, despite their mess making capabilities, to pass on my brilliance. My sheer age, my stories, to show myself that I did love something, that I myself was lovable.

The whole idea seemed laughable now, since in all my most recent fantasies, it had been calire who had been by my side, clever and beautiful she had smiled down at their infant heads, sang them to sleep, and loved me, my brilliance.

They were just shattered dreams now.

I was concealed, watching, looking for other people. Her daughter looked to be about 6, or 7. Her youthful face was already clever, watching,

"What do you mean Mommy?" She said, her voice sounding much like claries.

"I mean, that we can't walk Rocky on a night." She said smiling.

"Why? I thought the vamps liked you?"

"Well, they do, but I can't take that sort of chance with you, or him," She said smiling sadly.

"But, I thought you were friends?" She said, her delicate brow furrowing in sweet innocence.

"Not really, Uncle Michael, he's our friend,"

"Not, uncle! That other one you and daddy always talk about?"

She was clever, and I smiled at her perserverance.

It was time for my entrance.

"Hello, Claire." I said, beside her, she whirled round, unable to see my face below the shadow of the hat I had put on.

"Rosie, get behind me, now." She said, pulling her behind her, facing me.

"It's me, Claire." I said, inclining me head, before bowing foppishly.

"Myrnin?" She said, still shielding her child, Rosie?

"Yes, I've missed you." I said, straight to the point staring at her aged face. It was no-longer beautiful, more weathered, but it shone with motherly love, pride and confusion, and a touch of guilt. She was radiant.

"Who are you?" Rosie said, stepping away from behind Claire's back.

"Myrnin, an old friend." I said, smiling at her as I bowed to her, kissing her hand. She giggled and smiled, her brown eyes, so like Claire's glowing almost.

"I've missed you to Myrnin." She said, smiling limply.

"I guessed as much, by the stench of guilt surrounding you." I said, almost lightly, as if I hadn't been pining after her.

"I'm sorry, but you know how Shane is. And, I had David, and Rosie and Myra. I couldn't just leave…"

"Myra?" I said, bemused.

"Yeah, it's sort of like Myrnin." She said, smiling sadly at me. Her eyes shining with un-ushered tears.

"I guessed. Where is young Mr. Collins?" I said, changing the subject.

"Right here." He said, glaring at me, as he possessively pulled Rosie to his side.

"Glad to see." I said, grinning, trying to put on my maniac façade. But, I knew Claire saw through it, she smiled sadly at me, as Shane lead her away. Flashing me a grin that clearly said, _I won, now go piss off._

I didn't smile back, instead I went to the Glass House and dropped a small envelope through the door. The contents, a ring and a small piece of paper.

_**Don't forget me. M.**_

ooOOoo

Everyone went to her funeral, Amelie in mourning, crying softly as her children wept. She was old now. Dead now, her face grey and smooth, carefree in way I had only seen a few times. The minister was droning on about her, her accomplishments. They didn't mention me, how sad, I had a eeling her bitter son had something to do with it.

Her casket was wonderful, simple and made to biodegrade, so she wouldn't pollute the earth. I had to smile at that.

She was wearing my ring. Her cold fingers had her wedding ring, engagement ring and my ring.

"She wore it always," a small voice said beside me. Turning, I saw her, Rosie, she looked just like Claire had.

"What?" I said watching as she was lowered into the ground, to be gone forever.

"She got it and she never took it off. She told me everything. Myra and I. She really was guilty at the end, she missed you so much." Her voice was sad, a tear slipping from her long eyelashes to th slide down her face.

"I missed her too." I said softly.

"She wanted me to give you this," she said, pulling a sealed letter from a fold of her coat, "I'll leave you to read it," she said, retreating to thank the minister for his minimal service. I watched the grave diggers finish burying her.

I couldn't face the lab, where her scent still lingered, were she had once been. Where she had never returned.

Sitting on a park bench, I opened the letter,

_Myrnin,_

_I'm so sorry for what I did. I see that know. I can't tell you that marrying Shane was a mistake, it wasn't. But, I so wish you'd proposed before, for I know that's what the ring was for. I'm so sorry. I miss you so much, and I can't bear the thought that I'll be leaving you soon. I hope this letter finds you in good health._

_We argued, Shane and I, but I did love him, just in a different way to how I love you. I'm sorry that I couldn't give you what you wanted. I hope you'll someday find true happiness, somewhere._

_Please, please, Myrnin, don't mourn me, for too long. I know you'll miss me, heck, I miss you already, I miss your face, your laugh, you cleverness, I'm so sorry we never got past the friend zone._

_I just want you to know that I blame you of nothing, not even biting me, or when you hurt me. I love you, and I know I will, always. But, please, find someone better then I. I'm not worth me, trust me._

_Please, I will always love you, and I will never forget you, I never have._

_Forgive me,_

_Claire._

It was over.

Pulling myself up I sat and watched the sun rise, the rays burning my skin.

I was dying.

And In loved every tortured second of it.

_**Voila! Sad again!**_

_**Review please!**_

_**xxx**_


End file.
